Why, When and Who to marry

My husband never likes me calling him my husband but prefers to be referred always as his partner. For him marriage is for society, the marriage-certificate a mere piece of document that cannot qualify someone’s love. He would have lived with me, had children with me, supported my dreams, provided for me and protected me without marrying me. Now that’s the kind of person one must marry, should one decide to, that is?

Here are a few things I learnt through my personal journey about choosing one’s life partner.

Marry for love. Period. Unconditional love that you know or feel that shall last forever. Sounds rosy. But when you feel supported in all ways, even at times when you are not at your best behavior, you know you’ve found the one.

• Marry a secure, self-assured man. And that comes with life experiences. Only an insecure man will abuse you verbally or physically. A self-assured man will never be insecure if you have opinions or express your individuality. He will respect you for it and enjoy the challenge you throw his way.

• Marry a successful man. By success I don’t mean professional success. A successful man is someone who has evolved through life lessons, who harnesses relationships and friendships, who has overcome life challenges. A successful man is humble in his footings and gracious with his love and time.

• Marry if he makes you truly happy. When you have no questions in your mind about his feelings for you. When you feel contented in his presence and his absence. Happiness is truly derived not by big gifts or fancy dinners but by the little things he does for you in his own ways to make you feel special.

• Marry if he is your best friend. You are truly yourself with him. He does not judge you. You feel comfortable being vulnerable and can share your darkest deepest secrets with him without being judged. Not to mention, you are never bored in his company. He stimulates you, excites you and makes you laugh.

All the above seem simple, but sometimes so hard to find you may think. But the bottom line again is, if you can’t offer all the above to your man than you may not attract such a person in your life. Every person in our life is an extension of who you are. So if you have been in a bad relationship or series of bad relationships, then you must take accountability for it. There is or was something that you had to work on. And if you don’t learn these lessons, you shall continue to attract the wrong man in your life. It’s a vicious cycle that you must break by self-exploration, introspection and evolution.

I shall elaborate more on the subject love soon. Stay tuned!